Lady Bird: A Reflection of Home
- Benjamin Wiebe
- Jan 24, 2021
- 7 min read
Lady Bird (2019) is one of my favourite movies of the past 4 years, and I am not exaggerating when I make that statement. From the heartwarming performances to the depth of the characters, there is something in this movie for everyone. But what stands out most to me is how it captures the essence of home, through its characters, editing, and the discussion of what love is.
The reflection of what makes something home is seen in the small things, like a drive through the town you have known your whole life.
The characters throughout Lady Bird may not be extremely complicated, but I appreciate just how much depth there is to each character and how much focus is spent in highlighting the relationships Lady Bird has with everyone else first and foremost. We see the teachers of the Catholic high school like Lady Bird does, and as such, only see a specific side of these characters. Take Father Leviatch as an example. When we are introduced to him, we see the theatre teacher that has an admiration for the students and understands them. And as we go further, and begin seeing the emotional depth of the character, we begin to understand that there is something beyond what we see in the character. But Lady Bird never truly finds that, and by extension, the audience doesn’t either. Rather, only when we see through the eyes of a nurse, Marion, do we notice that Father Leviatch is struggling with depression and contemplating suicide. This goes for almost every character in the film, where we see them with the limited depth of view of an uninterested teenager, but we never doubt that they have a story to tell as well. This community of characters that all feel lived in helps create the atmosphere of home to me. There are so many relationships that I have with teachers and friends of my parents that I only know on the surface, much like Lady Bird.
The performances from Stephen McKinley Henderson and Laurie Metcalf in this scene are perfect. I love that we see how similar Marion and Lady Bird are based on this scene and the one previous, with Lady Bird and Danny.
And I think it makes the other characters that Lady Bird chooses to engage with more interesting, in that we get to see the layers to them as Lady Bird does. When we interact with the theatre group, we see Lady Bird truly paying attention to Danny, even to the point of putting her relationship with Julie on the backburner. We see how enveloping a first love is, where your every moment is marked by their presence. And the theatre group is mostly seen in the theatre experience, with the excitement of the first show, and how practices feel. And when the heartbreak comes of a breakup, we see how Lady Bird finds support in Julie but pushes away the theatre as it is marked by Danny’s presence still.
And the last major relationship we see in this film is the relationship between Lady Bird and her mother, Marion. Lady Bird and Marion are two sides of the same coin, similar yet never seeing eye to eye, wanting the same thing but with two different ways to get there. This relationship is the driving force of the film and makes up much of why I feel that this movie’s characters remind me of home, because the relationship between Lady Bird and Marion is so similar to the relationship between me and my mother. I have had arguments about what I should do with my life, how my choices to go to college away from home will cost more money, and who I should spend the holidays with. This relationship is emotionally charged, difficult, and yet worth fighting for. Even though they don’t see eye to eye, they are there for each other and want to help each other achieve their best. I use them because it can refer to both myself and my mother, or Lady Bird and Marion. That reflection of my relationship feels like home to me.
This opening shot highlights the core of these characters, being so similar and comforting to each other in the moments of peace and quiet.
But it’s not just through the characters that we find home in this movie. I find the editing of Lady Bird to be reminiscent of the last year of living at home. To some, it may seem jarring, as scenes end and begin in quick succession, with no transition sequences in between. But to me, I think it is a perfect visualization of how we remember our last year at home. There is a fleeting effect created, where different events seem to pass by, important in the moment yet gone with the wind. These are remembered for the emotion they carry, and in fragments, and many moments are left behind, forgotten. This style perfectly grasps the last year of high school, where life seems to be changing and conflicts seem impossibly large in the moment, but after a time, they seem to be remnants of a dream.
The opening credits perfectly highlight this style, as it goes through a day in the life of a senior at a Catholic high school.
To continue forward, I must look back and tell you about myself. I am a second-year university student now, living away from home, in a city far away from home where the only way I can contact my friends and family is by using communication technologies. And I remember wanting this life so badly, longing to leave throughout all of high school, when I would be free to live as I wanted to, able to be who I wanted to be, and now, life feels… empty. I feel like Lady Bird, where the life I wanted and have made for myself is distant from what I love because I was so quick to want to leave. My final year of high school saw me move to a Catholic high school, where the assemblies were boring and extremely traditional, where I found my first love and my first broken heart. I remember the feeling of moving forward when I graduated, how everyone around me was congratulating me and wishing me well. I remember the application process for university, how stressful it was and how deadlines seemed to approach out of nowhere. I remember the walk home from school, going behind the recreational center in my community, past the EB games that closed this year, and walking through back streets to get home in as little time as possible. I remember sitting on a hill, over-looking the storm pond behind the school with my girlfriend and thinking it would last forever. I remember feeling lost trying to learn the solfege scale for choir, and the feeling of accomplishment when I finally got it.
A picture of me and my Mom after I got to vote in a federal election a year ago. These are the moments I remember fondly, ones of peace and celebration.
I remember high school in these moments, surrounded by details that only I could remember, because I love home. That is the message of Lady Bird, and while I may not have agreed that I loved home two years ago, I think I would now. Home isn’t easy for anyone: there’s a conflict with parents over what you want to do, there are deadlines that stress people out, and there are financial strains that no one is sure how to deal with. Nothing is fully planned when it comes to home. But the comfort of home is found in being accepted and loved for who you are by the people that genuinely care for you.
That is what home is in this movie and to me. It’s knowing where you are accepted and loved for being you, not what others want you to be. Acceptance and love are a core part of this film, and as Lady Bird finds by the end, being loved is being accepted. Throughout the film, Lady Bird longs to be accepted by everybody, and for each person, she changes herself to be acceptable. For the theatre kids, she performs all she does. For the rich kids, she tries to be cool, saying she lived in the rich neighborhood, and focusing on anything but school. And when she finally moves away, she talks up her background to be from a good state. And when Lady Bird goes through rejection, she pushes away others and isolates herself, as if she is unloved.
Acceptance is a running theme in this movie, from the way Lady Bird interacts with others to the very plot of the film, with Lady Bird seeking acceptance from an east coast, liberal art school.
But as Sister Sarah points out to Lady Bird, love isn’t seen in being accepted, it’s seen in how others pay attention to who you are. When Lady Bird is out of options and alone, she turns to her best friend, Julie, who paid attention to her and accepted her for her. When Lady Bird reads letters from Marion about Lady Bird going to an eastern school, she finds herself accepted for who she is.
That is what encompasses what home is in this movie: it’s the place you remember in detail because it could truly never leave you. It’s in the roads and alleyways that you have travelled a million times before. It’s in the friends that we're there for you when the world was falling apart. And it’s in the family that chooses to raise and support you.
In the final moments of this film, we see Lady Bird realize this and accept what Home is to her, and I feel every word she says.
Home is at the core of the film, and it grabs my heart every time I watch it.
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